UNANSWERED
by: Achelois | alwaysskz_
Looking at the one person who always made your day brighter, you asked yourself,
"What did I ever see in you?"
You sat down with a coffee on your hands wondering how it started, your little crush on your best friend's brother. The thought of him gave you chills and butterflies. You smiled briefly then took a sip of your coffee.
It was mid-November when you started looking at him the way you never looked at anyone else. You wanted to deny it, but the chills kept crawling up. You were scared to like someone, you were scared to like the only guy you trust.
Your thoughts were disrupted as a familiar voice entered the room. "A penny for your thoughts?" He crooned as he sat in front of you with his guitar. That guitar. You sighed. Maybe that guitar was the seed of all those feelings that bloomed.
He used to play it every afternoon on the bench in front of their house and you would always be there admiring how good he was. You never got along with him, he always teased you and you were always annoyed. But the two of you were always in harmony when that guitar came in between.
He started playing and again, you were drowned in the melody.
It's amazing to see me
Smiling at you without knowing
As the day passes
My feeling for you grows deeper.
It was the song he's been singing for a while now. You memorized the lyrics as they imply what you feel for the person singing it. He looked you in the eye as if he was singing for you. Your heart was racing but you were a pro at acting normal, like he doesn't affect you at all.
He moved forward and leaned closer to you til his lips were only an inch close to your left ear. You couldn't hide it anymore. You could feel the heat in your cheeks and the chills in your stomach. "Stop staring." He said in an almost inaudible voice.
You froze for a moment but you were afraid he'd hear how fast your heart was beating. You stood up to leave but he grabbed your wrist. You suddenly felt his weight on you as he wrapped his arms around your waist and lean his head on your shoulder. "Just a moment, please."
He might be teasing you again but you didn't move. Again those butterflies filled your stomach and you were sure he wasn't oblivious about your heart racing. For a moment, you decided to just let yourself feel them.
He slowly unwrapped his arms around you. You were hoping to hear something, anything. He grabbed his guitar and left the room without a word. You were left clueless.
You stepped out of the room only to find out that he already left. You had so many questions. But instead of answers, he gave you another code you couldn't decipher.
You ran outside hoping to catch him on the street and you did.
"Han" you called out his name out loud. You approached him as he turned around.
"Please don't call my name like that. Please don't come running to me." You could feel the coldness in his tone but his eyes were shaking. There was so much you wanted to ask him but nothing escaped your lips.
"Because if you do, I won't be able to keep myself from looking for you... from wanting you." It was his voice shaking and you saw sadness in his eyes.
You couldn't find the right words to say. You were lost in the galaxies of his eyes. You lost control and threw yourself to him wrapping your arms around his waist, tighter than he did before.
"Do you trust me?" You asked not letting go of him.
"I'll call your name when you come looking for me. I'll run to you and I'll keep running to you." You didn't care how naive you sounded and after that was a total silence.
You felt his warmth around you as he wrapped you in his arms so tight that you didn't wanna let go. You were the happiest.
"I trust you. Ofcourse I do."
Tears were building up at the corners of your eyes. Tears that didn't mean pain, but joy. He let go of you and looked you in the eye. You knew he saw the joy that was painted in them. But you didn't see the same in his.
"But I don't trust me."
Your world crumbled and you heart was shattered into millions pieces.
"I'm sorry."
Again, for the nth time, he left you with nothing but a thousand unanswered questions and you just watched him walk away.
Just like that, you lost the only guy you trusted. He was still there, you could see him. But you couldn't feel his presence anymore.
No more teasing, no more small talks. Just a thousand unanswered questions and a thousand words left unsaid.
~
